I’ve stated that I’m in a very casual stage of life, but I really am not into casual things. I catch feelings, pretty quick.
I was on tinder on and off, here and there. I never intentionally use it to find a hookup buddy, I use tinder when I travel mostly so that I could meet locals to show me some cool stuff around that is not touristy or meet fellow traveler to have a traveling buddy for a bit.
Also, call me naive but I wanted to believe tinderella is a real thing, I wanted to believe that something could actually happened out of that simple swipes. Up to this point, June 2020, no luck mate.
I met like 2 very cool guys from tinder that are, surprisingly, still in contact with me in a very friendly way up to this year to greet each other over birthday and stuff, both are Europeans around my age. And one even came visited me all the way down to Sydney!
I’ve got a most f*cked-up tinder story to tell. I once matched with this guy of British-Chinese background, Chase, he was tall, brown hair, brown eyes. Best of both worlds.
We went on one dinner date and we talked. I appreciate the question why your last relationship didn’t work, with the understanding that if things going great tonight we won’t projected things to one another. But when I asked back, he talked about his ex like there is no tomorrow.
And when it comes down to pay the bill he looked a bit like “hmm” type of way. Like, I am so glad to pay my part if he wished to split, and I have enough to paid for us both if that was he meant. I hate the pause and stare when the waiter is waiting for us to hand our cards, so I gave out my card and the waiter was gone to the register. And he actually said “Thanks, I’ll get the next one.” I smiled, reply it in my head ‘Bold statement mate, I didn’t see things going that way.’
We walked to the park after dinner to sit and talk because I never bring anyone home from tinder like that, and I didn’t want him to take me to his home either.
On our walk there he talked so much about that ex gf in a pretty detailed way and it did made me looked at him in a ‘really?’ and ‘wtf’ kind of way which he didn’t get it or choose to ignored it because he did not even stop to breath.
It was even worse at the park. He talked a lot and somehow was very touchy and it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t have to go into details, but mate it was disgusting. He knew exactly he was very good looking and probably think I would be okay with him doing things to me, but hell nah.. I deleted my tinder profile shortly after that because mate I was traumatized.
4 months later, I got a following request on instagram from someone I didn’t personally know but have heard her name somewhere. I tried to remember and it was Chase’s ex gf! So he specifically mentioned that his ex name was Laura and she was of Chinese-Russian background. I didn’t know her, so I left her hanging.
Then one day I got a text message saying “Hi is this Astrid?”. First of all I NEVER reply to that kind of text message because it is just weird to me. But that day I had the strong urge to reply so I did “Yeah, who’s this?”
Her response was beyond my expectation “I’m the girlfriend of a guy who cheated on me with you a few months ago Would you be able to answer some questions for me? I totally understand if you’re not willing to, I know it must sound crazy. I just want to find peace.”
I replied what I had in mind “Wait what? Just shoot me whatever you need to know.”. But I got very confused as to who this person was referring to.
She wanted to meet over coffee, double the weirdness and confusion. I could not do the coffee so I asked her “But who are we talking about? the guy that cheated on you? I swear, I’m cooperative. But I don’t live in Sydney CBD anymore, I’m in Central Coast. I’ll be in Sydney just on monday for a bit to meet my cousin.”
And she replied “Chase.”
And since Chase was a memorable bad date to me and I remember he talked about the ex gf a lot and I remember her name so I was like “You’re Laura?”
“Yep, but how did you know?” asked her.
And I just had to tell her the truth that “Chase talked about you.”
And she replied “Oh shit what? You’re actually not the only girl either, he met around 5 or 6 other girls during that time (February – March), or more, but that’s the number of girls I know of.”
We then talked on the phone on what was happening, she wanted to know all the freaking details. I mean, in my head, yo this girl was crazy. She gonna hurt herself to dig these kind of information. But I swear to her (as a woman to woman) that I would be cooperative. So I answered everything.
Turned out Chase was ‘assaulting’ 2 other girls that was willing to talk to her, I was the third. The rest of the girls didn’t want to talk to her. And Laura sounds so pissed to learned such behaviors done by Chase, whom she just got back together. And my God she actually did apologize for him.
Laura then befriended me on social media because she thought I was cool and very cooperative and she really wanted to meet in person. And Laura.. I mean judging by what Chase did to her, is one of a kind. And I have to be honest here that she is handling the situation with a clear head and minds and not losing her coolness, I’m a fan, though if I were in her position, I wouldn’t be as half as strong.
Laura was dating Chase for a little over one year before the sudden break up that made him went on a ‘hunting’ mode. She knew nothing when they got back together and learned something was off on their breakup and decided to investigate it herself. Because they actually went into couple’s therapy to fix their problem. I mean… it left me speechless.
Long story short the therapy didn’t work out and they break up again for good this time, as per her information. I didn’t even know why she told me that but I appreciate the trust she puts on me to share the news.
But hey how messed up it was??? The whole cheating and assaulting things???
Oh I swear I have something else to share so I think I’ll make this post a series.