I was talking with my mate about food when suddenly the topics randomly switched to a serious talk in a broad daylight consist of a romantic somewhat tragic line of ‘Is it fine or ever acceptable to ask someone of what we are?’. Because honestly, if you are single by civil status, just like me, roaming in the modern world, these one too many labels in this generation’s relationship is hellaaa confusing.
So my answer was “Depends, but I think you would only ask that short of question when you’re seeking a closure to your doubt on your sleepless night. I mean, you are either ready to pursue the relationship or ready to end it.”
But my mate came with one line that is brutally true, slapped me in the face kind of answer, stating that “I think if we ever have to ask that question to someone, then we are not really what we think we are.”
DANGGGGG… that was deep to me, and I found myself nodding, agreed to the discussion. Okay, now how do you really know if you two are a thing?
Back in school days when we were younger, it was easier cause the guy (mostly) blatantly ask ‘do you wanna be my girlfriend?’ which entirely up to you to answer yes or no, but the whole idea is crystal clear. Both party got the point.
Apart from being young by age, the place where you live also play a major role to this matter. I’m sure as heck somewhere in this world there are adults (still) practicing that kind of thing.
My relationship with Brandon was the one without that kind of drama. After a while I just knew we were dating cause he made his intention clear by his actions. So I talked to myself like ‘This is it, we are dating. or else, why would he give me this bouquet? and jewelries?’. Both feelings and action were mutual, so it was not a guessing game.
My mate then followed the statement by “Whoever this guy is that is making you question your existence in his life, sadly does not deserve you.”
And shoot I feel attacked and was like “Why is that?”
“Well his potential coldness towards you is making you feel kinda worthless. Because you started to question it yourself. I got a girl ask me that once and I got upset at her. I was coming from the stand point of… we’ve done this and done that and you STILL don’t know? you STILL have to ask me? pretty sure we broke up few weeks later.”
There you go, the bomb has been dropped. Another point has been made.
And this all comes back to… Hugh, damn Hugh!
The whole time, I have made myself nothing but clear towards him. And he did so many things that made me think “This is it”. But againnn, he is an on/off guy that when he turned cold, I started to question it all over again.
I didn’t know where we stand and it sucks.
I have once stated on one of my posts that I don’t care if the guy I love is in my life romantically or not, but I want us to be in each others’ live. Mate, I’m still gonna be true to that line but AGAIN to reach that point, mutual agreement and understanding from both parties on where this thing is going, is much needed… right?
The verdict? a relationship can mean different things to different people. And different people have different idea of showing the care and love they have for the other party.
I think we just need to know what works for us and be true to what the other person deserves. It is just cruel to give someone a false hope, where is ya common sense mate?!
Because at the end of the day we all stand a better chance to hope, believe and endure all things when we are with someone whose heart is like a home we will never want to leave.