The good guy I dated, the bad guy I chased…

Yup you’re reading it right. Honestly, why do the wrong men feel so right?

I feel like I’ve been stating this a lot, that I am a relationship kinda gal, and always in a long term one. But the good guy I dated always ended up as an ex, and the bad guy I chased, well, sure as hell is an on/off thing that always gonna be my maybe. Pretty sure I’m not alone in this self-destructive, sabotaging action.

And you know what? I think I might just really like dating bad guys. My cold bed in a winter night just happened to be the place where I finally reached this somewhat depressing level of self-awareness. Duhhh.

I make poor choices with man. Sure as heck, you gonna say, I knew it. You know who you are 🙂

I tend to repeat this pattern, breaking up with the good guy and chasing the bad guy, again and again. Because my core understanding of myself that I’m actually not good enough for this good guy and might be a good influence to the bad one so that somehow he can be good. I know it sounds very confusing, and doesn’t makes any sense to you, but trust me idk why I keep thinking that way either.

I am a keeper, I was always someone’s girlfriend, and tbh idk how to be single, back to the dating game I hate and start over. Gawddd. Really not my thing. I got bored easily when I have to open up about my shit. The “W”s basic questions they gonna ask are always annoying. I called it basic cause every guy is asking the same thing, like, why are you here in Straya? what do you do? what do you study? why is your family spreaded all over the globe?

and I’m really avoiding the questions about my parents. To open up about not having a mom and the whole story of it, is very painful, and when I do it again and again I get sad all over again. for real.

and wow did Australia changed me? in a way of thinking and life? idk mate. Now I find myself in a very casual stage of life where I don’t expect anything from anyone at all times.

I like the guy that don’t like me back the way I wanted to be liked and ghosting the guys that are actually into me or even dragged them into the ‘bro-zone’. But hey this is life and you’re not always get what you want and that’s alright.

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