6 hours of flight got me to think about, family…

For a dramatic experience I would like you to play this music along while reading the article… *PS: Not for a weak hearted.

Okay, I don’t get how kids wanted to be astronaut when they get asked what they want to be when they grow old, yet I was one of those kids. The outer space and anti gravity fascinates me. Knowing that there was never an Indonesian become one, little Astrid switched her dream of becoming an astronaut, to be a writer. A little bit realistic huh?

I brought up mostly in Indonesia, where people always have things to say to you in pretty much everything for the rest of your life, yes, you knew it, just admit it.

In the Indonesian society, woman my age, in their quarter life, considered as an “old lady” and society thinks it’s a very appropriate age to get married. I mean, you can always be a single fighter, yes, that’s your choice and it comes with a privilege of being compared to your neighbour, cousin, or anyone your age (or younger) they know that already settled down. Simply because they think marriage is an achievement. Well maybe for some people it is an achievement, but not for me mate. What happened if you aren’t, yet? for whatever reasons, you already lose in the battle you were never agreed to be a part of. 

In the Indonesian society, you’re a woman, you’re the mom, you’ll take care of your family thing. It’s almost like, your family will fall apart if you failed to serve what they thought you should do.

In the 6 hours flight from Bali to Sydney, I saw a lot of family, presumably coming back home from their tropical holiday. I saw many babies too. 

I know that flying with kids is challenging, and I know it’s even more to those who fly with an infant. I gotta admit that I hate to fly with kids. Gosh, I can’t stand the crying and screaming scene. I am one of those adults that will cry to see kids cry, and screaming back at them when they are screaming at you. So if they throw a tantrum to me, most likely I will be throwing one too at them. I just basically don’t know what to do.

grayscale photo of baby feet with father and mother hands in heart signs
Photo by Andreas Wohlfahrt on Pexels.com

Tonight, 12:29 in the middle of pacific ocean I saw lots of father, specifically white father, holding and comforting their babies while the Mom is resting. Their babies started to cry and they just basically stand up and care for the baby. A view I never thought I would see. It wasn’t only one dad, I saw like four to five walking on the airplane aisle with the baby on their hand.

Not to be racist but we all know in the western society, people don’t really care about starting a family, let alone to have kids. That’s why the population in the western countries declining while the Asian countries keep booming. I remember once my german friend told me the story about how their government put so much attention so the low population on ads in the TV, radio, and pretty much everywhere and encourage people to take a day off, just to have sex. So that hopefully they will manage to conceive a baby and helping the nation to ‘grow’.

I remember once, I be friends with this Aussie’s guy and he told me that the Aussie’s are just like Asians that cares about having family and kids and all that. I was surprised that he was right.

I was living with two Europeans for some times, and they both don’t share the same view of ‘family’. And I know for a fact that the tendency to have this and that is influenced by the people nearby, I am pretty sure it was based on how they have been raised, regardless their race and ethnicity.

Well back to this fatherhood story, I swear to you that even Asian father, specifically Indonesian, would less likely do that. Because the mindset is build that the man works to support the financial part and the wife take cares of the rest, aka kids, house, and all that. In Indonesia, a newly Father has no right to have a paternity leave, which means that they spend less time with the kids compare to the mother.

Just like me, I spent my childhood mostly with mom, dad is freaking busy with work. We got to go as a family in whole, like once in a week, for a weekly groceries thing. As time goes by, when we grow older, we spent less and less time to go out as a family. Simply because everyone are busy doing their individual thing.

My Dad even always missed the family outing held by his company. He never take the day off to do it with us, and yet again, we accept it because he is busy making money to keep the family shit together. I was like “what could possibly happen if he leave the office for a day? the company won’t burn down to ashes right?”

Well, my relationship with dad grew a bit closer when mom passed away. Just a tiny bit, because Dad is serious type of guy, and I’m too goofy. Everyone in my family were so used to have mom to figure things out for us. Mom was even like a manager for dad, he didn’t even know how much he earned, I swear it all goes directly to mom’s account. And dad didn’t even know his atm pin number, because he never really need cash, and mom been taking care of everything. Can you imagine the pain we need to get through when the one knows everything is gone? Oh my heart is still aching as I write this.

Uhm.. now that it happened, I just wish we spent more time together as a family. Make some more memories in each others life. But yeah, I can’t turned back the time…

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